Wellness Champion Dennis Saddleman shares his triumphant healing journey – FNHA
September 24, 2024
I have walked with sobriety for 44 years. During this time, I’ve reclaimed my inner voice and inner child, which were lost after 11 years at the Kamloops residential school. I use my voice to write stories and poems, including one called “The Monster” about my devastating experiences at residential school. I’ve also written a book, and am writing another. I’m known as “The Word Warrior.”
When you’re a child you have no idea why they’re [residential school staff] treating you like a dog. They hit you with their fists or open hands. They kick you in the butt or in the ribs. They punish you severely even if you’re innocent. They strap you with thick leather on the palm of your hands, then turn your hand downwards. They strap you on the knuckles. They strap you on your bare behind.
I was sexually abused. I told the school principal, but he told me I was telling lies about a good man. My mom told me I was her beautiful boy and a mean nun said I was “an ugly boy.” The word “ugly” really hurt me. I didn’t know the federal government and the Catholic church had a policy, “to kill the Indian in the child.” But I created my own policy to keep the Indian alive.
I left residential school and went home. Would you believe I didn’t know what a dream was? I didn’t know what hope was. I didn’t know how to be a father or an uncle. I didn’t have any life skills. I didn’t know how to work. Feeling hopeless, I turned to drinking and doing drugs. I was a weekend drinker at first, and then it got worse. I became a wino and a druggie.
